Sunday, March 17, 2013

MY 60 DAY JUICE FAST ADVENTURE: DAY 22 "INTROSPECTION & RE-EVALUATION"

Today is Sunday, and since  la familia and I decided to go to church last night, I got to sleep in today and wake up slowly. This allowed me the much needed time to slow down and evaluate my journey thus far . Last week was probably the hardest week of the juice fast so far, and I found myself crawling towards the end.

This morning I realized that I still have 2/3rds of this adventure ahead of me and that I simply refuse to scrape my way through it anymore. I know that I've been wishing and striving for the destination instead of enjoying and flourishing through the journey. However seeing that I still have 38 days ahead of me, I still have a lot of time to enjoy this amazing time of detoxification, resetting, and cleansing of my body!

As I got super honest with myself I realized that I have gradually become frustrated, unhappy and disappointed in my fast for the following reasons:
  • I have been focusing on weight loss (although I had initially told myself that this wasn't about weight loss)
  • I put too much pressure and expectation on myself ( I really thought I had to be perfect, have no bad days - so when I did I felt like a failure)
  • I continuously compared this fast with the one last year (the experience has been day and night, which goes to show that no 2 juice fasts are the same, even for the same person)
  • I underestimated the influence that emotional and spiritual detoxing would have on life! (It's been kinda brutal and totally sneaky!)
  •  I had not anticipated the extent to which I would have to come face to face with my eating demons. Those ugly food-dependencies are continuously in my face and not being able to turn to food for comfort has been really difficult! 
  •  Most importantly however, I have not been turning to God for my comfort, salvation and sustenance during this period... this is just sad, because I totally know that I can.

    Soooo... how do I plan on changing this around for the next 38 days? Here is how:
    •  Today I put away the scale. No more weight-ins. Not until the very end. I will from now on measure my "success" in this juice fast by how I feel, how my clothes fit, how much energy I have, and how clear my mind is.
    • I will be kind to myself - I will stop comparing this fast to last year and remind myself that last year I was in full sabbatical , while this time around I have a 6 course school load and 15hr work week in addition to personal and relational responsibilities.
    • I will keep in mind the importance of internal tune-in, to ensure that I catch mind and spirit bullies as they surface and then deal with them right as they start their poisonous and demeaning whispers.
    • I have decided to introduce moderate exercise into my fast, and start being disciplined about drinking my 3 mason jars worth of juice. I strongly feel this will help me shake off the sluggishness and also give me more energy and brain power. I also know that this will stimulate my lymphatic system and thus help the detoxification process!
    • I need strength beyond mine to help set me free from food strongholds. This is something I have struggled with for almost 8 years and it is all I've known since I became a teenager. It just hit me that I don't know what it is like to live without being addicted to food and then hating myself after because of that. I try to think back to when food was just sustenance and not comfort, shelter and obsession, but I was just a child then, so it's totally different.
    • Above all, I have become aware that I cannot do this alone and that my Abba has been waiting for me with open arms to sustain, comfort and heal me as well as set me free from my food strongholds. No more doing this alone from now on, I'm running to Him.
    • Lastly, I am determined to take this fast day by day and enjoy the journey - no more looking at the end as the goal - the goal is to live and savor each day the life I have been given!
    Well, that's all for now - I feel that this is a defining moment in my 60 day juice fast journey, a milestone really, and I am thankful for the insight I've been given into it.

    I go on forward with this:
    "...and then He told me:
    My grace is enough; it’s all you need.
    My strength comes into its own in your weakness."
    2 Cor 12:9 (MSG)




    2 comments:

    1. reflecting on how far you come is very important. I am almost at my 10day mark and i am super excited but i can see and feel how sometimes i ask myself why am i doing this again. And that's when i need strength that is not mine but God's.
      Thank you for the verse i will take it to heart especially when i am having some random craving.
      Thank you for this post!

      ReplyDelete
    2. I loved this post! Really encouraged me as i am beginning to pray regarding the juicing journey i want to do. I have 4 kids..work and busy busy life..im just wondering if i can sustain..ive did 10 days lemonaide cleanse and 40 days daniel fast. Im pondering and reading your blog for insight but juicing is a new journey... Thx for sharing!!

      ReplyDelete

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